People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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