Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize