Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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