I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize