sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
