I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize
