I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
