I'm gonna have a badass scar
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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