drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
