So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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