Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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