i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize