Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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