Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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