dude i'm inner monologue high
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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