There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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