ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Randomize
