I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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