i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
