I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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