Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
