Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
These tits shall not be calmed
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
