Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
