I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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