Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
