That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Randomize