Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I came so hard my ears popped.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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