physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
