I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
