Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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