it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
