once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
