So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
