It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
