Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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