Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
