So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Dicks are not precious.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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