I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
