Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
pop tarts are not kleenex
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
