Banned from zoo.
Again?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
