I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Randomize
