wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
The uberlube is also flammable
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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