We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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