i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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