Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
