I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
