Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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