so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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