I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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