that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
