you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize