If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
