I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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