I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
