I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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