Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
