Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
