you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
