I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
