Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
