her vagine was all disorganized.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
