I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
