At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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