Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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