Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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