dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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