Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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