you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize