So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
