So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
