I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
True college students do jello shots in the library
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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