was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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