when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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