I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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