Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
