JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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