I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Randomize
