I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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