im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you didnt know i had herpes?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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