when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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