I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i think i have herpe
just one?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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