His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
